Never forget the first time we met
Nothing was different from other classmates
But, my senses tingled, yours didn’t yet
You were my partner, everything was set
All meant to be, before it was too late
Never forget the first time we met
I threw a ball, you picked it next to a net
The first sight of you opened the gate
of you, tingled my senses but not yours yet
It was a rainy day, soggy and wet
One umbrella, for you and me, what a soul mate!
Never ever forget the first time we met
I ran towards you, fast, like a jet
To tell you my feelings about you, wait,
I think my senses tingled but not you, yet
Finally the exciting game was set
And you walked away saying just like fate
Just never forget the first time we met
The senses tingle in me still, but not you yet
1.) Does the poem have 19 lines?
ReplyDeleteYes
2.) How many syllables are in each line? Is this consistent throughout the poem? If not, which lines break the pattern?
Stanza 1: 9, 10, 10
Stanza 2: 10, 10, 9
Stanza 3: 11, 9, 11
Stanza 4: 10, 12, 11
Stanza 5: 8, 10, 11
Stanza 6: 10, 10, 10, 12
3.) Does the poem fit the required rhyme scheme? If not, where does it break the pattern?
Yes, except for stanza 3. It should be B, A, A2 but you have it A, B, A2
4.) What is the topic of this poem? Does it fit the usual topics for a villanelle (obsessions, lost love, etc.)?
Yes, the author likes someone but that someone doesn't like the author yet
5.) What overall comments can you make about this villanelle? What advice can you give to the author to help improve this villanelle?
Very good job!!!! It sounds very good. I really like the lines that you chose to make repeat. To fix it, I think you should fix stanza 3 so that it fits the criteria and work a little on your wording because some of it doesn't make sense. Overall Suhjeon, NICE WORK!!!!
6.) Look at the word choice rubric. What score does this poem deserve? Use specific words and phrases from the rubric to explain why this score is accurate.
I would give this poem a 4 because the strengths outweigh the weaknesses. If you work some on your wording in, for example the third stanza wording doesn't make sense, you could get a 5 easy.
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SUHJEON!!!!!!!