Sunday, February 13, 2011

Free verse

Sitting side by side
With a feathery warm breeze on the left
And a deep warm breath on the right
Doing nothing with you
On one warm sunny day
Leaning against you listening to music
This is what’s called peace
As the glittering sun sets, the shining stars start to wake up
And here I am with you
Saying hello to the stars and giving them names
Laughing together
Having the comfortable happiness of my life
With you

1 comment:

  1. I will give her 4 for the word choice. :) She used a basic words but it really give the meaning of the poem. "Having the comfortable happiness of my life" this line stands out to me because it shows her feelings and contentment in life just by being with the person she wants to be with. The only thing that I can tell her for improvement is just she needs to put more metaphors and alliteration. And just give more specific words to make the poem more meaningful. :) GOOD JOB! =]]

    ReplyDelete